Seriously. I don't know where my mojo went! Christmas came and that was the end of it! Now here we are some seven weeks or so later and I am STILL not back on track! I keep starting and stopping. And I continue to tell myself its just one thing after another. I'm being sabotaged. And while some of that may be true (because there has been some sickness floating around), frankly its mostly just excuses and me being lazy. I mean, let's call it what it is and stop trying to sound like a victim. I'm a victim of my own laziness. That's it.
But, I've run out of excuses. I mean really. The holiday's are over. My blue month is over. Birthday's are over until April. And now Valentine's Day is over. Its warming up this month (we're talking 40's people!!), the snow is melting, the sun is more frequent, the days are getting longer, I've already paid this months gym membership, and a friend is going with me on Wednesday (and boy do I hope that's a new routine!). Now all that's left to do is buckle down and just do it! Get my calories back in check, get my butt back in motion. Loosing 2lbs a week took a lot of effort, but I did it! I know what was working for me, and I figured out how to get it done. Which frankly is tough for a lot of people. Figuring out how to get it done for them. But I did that. Now I just have to stick to it again. I mean, I HATE the winter, LOATH it really, and I know that its put a real hiccup in my weight loss journey (since I'd so much rather be walking and bike riding and gardening and playing outside then stuck in a dark stinking gym).
And if nothing else I have to do it to prove to my mother that it CAN be done, and that she can do it too! I mean I have a lot going against me. I emotionally eat, I've struggle with depression for 2 years now, I have a husband who has the same weaknesses as myself and I'm easily convinced to sway, and then I have PCOS and Insulin Resistance. That's a lot to overcome all in one stroke. But again, my biggest hindrance is my own laziness. It really is. I procrastinate and rationalize so much of my life its ridiculous! But the key here people is that I understand and know my own weaknesses and downfalls. I know what trips me up, I know what is a surefire way to failure. And I believe knowing is half the battle. The other half is learning to counteract those times of trip-ups (birthdays, holidays, special occasions, ultra busy times) and to be prepared. Its the whole "failure to plan, is planning to fail" bit. And its so true! I've seen it in my life time and time again. So I struggle with planning and I struggle with follow through! A whole heap of a lot of good it does me to plan dinner if I let my dh talk me into skipping making it (which doesn't take a whole lot of effort since I hate cooking and I hate cleaning it up even more!) and then I end up never making it and ultimately throwing the food away. Its disgusting really.
So anyhow. Now that I am on the far side of the most common things that drag me down, I'm hoping that today I can get a fresh start (even though its a Tuesday) and get back into the routine of going to my exercise classes, cooking healthy foods and tracking my calories. Because that is my recipe for success. Move, eat well and track it all! I'm up about 4lbs, though I think a lot of it is bloating and water retention (because its about that time, and I've been eating very poorly!). So, luckily I haven't undone all of my hard work from last fall, and frankly it really would just take me a few months of hard work to get done with this!
The plan for this week is to get my proverbial sh!t together. I've made plans and worked out a schedule for getting my lazy butt into the gym for the week. I have new kicks, so I'm hoping that'll help some of the foot issues I've been having during classes. I've got a well stocked pantry, and a pretty good idea for several meals to make this week. My dh is feeling determined to get back on track (since he's gained several pounds and is feeling very sore and down on himself again lately) and wants to stop eating out (which is really helpful for me). SO really the only thing holding me back is myself.
So, SELF, its time to suck it up and get back in motion!
